Sunday, February 19, 2012

New Beginnings

It's almost been a full year since I last posted...hmm this seems to be a trend with me :D Anyways, many things have happened within my family the last year or so and so much more is coming.

I stopped working for Domino's Pizza in October 2011. The store got shut down for a while and we were all offered our jobs back, but I felt like I need to be home with my children.
               Though I will admit part of me didn't want to go back because I couldn't stand most of my co-workers and the only thing that made working there bearable was working with my boss Peter but he was gone. : (
Matt and I had been talking for a while about me staying home, he told me it was my choice and whatever I wanted to do he would be fine with. I just didn't feel like it was the right time yet, until everything happened in October and I was like "Here's your sign". So I was home with Sarah, and Jordan when we had her, going to school and trying to really work on keeping the house clean. When Fall Quarter started coming to an end I really didn't want to go back to school. I enjoyed it, but I still felt like I was needed at home more then I needed to be going to school. Once again Matt and I talked about it, and like always he was supportive on whatever choice I made.
So I quit school.
And I am so glad I did. I have spent the last two or three months working on being a better mother, and homemaker and I'm not going to bed at night nearly in tears from fighting with Sarah or because the house is a mess. It less stressful for everyone and we don't look like a hurricane whipped through our house! : D
There is less fighting, less yelling and less mess around here and I couldn't be happier or more sure that I made the right choice staying home. Which brings me to the news that is coming up.

For those of you that didn't know, Sarah has a half-brother named Mikie. He is 6 months older than her and he has lived up by Seattle with his Mom. Sarah and I have only met him twice. Once when we they were about 4 months and 10 months, and then last year when Anna (his mother) brought him up to visit.
I don't know if I can express very well in this blog how I feel about this boy, but I will try. From the MOMENT I met him, I knew he was meant to be with my family. His mother is not a very good person, and an even worse mother. I won't go into all the details, but let's just say it's a miracle this child has survived as long as he has.
Shayne (Sarah's birth dad) just found out last week that Anna signed her rights as Mikie's mother away. I couldn't believe that she finally did it, and I could not be happier, because now Shayne and I are talking with Anna's cousin (who now has Mikie) about having Mikie come live down here, and live with me.

Now let me back up just a little bit. For the past month I have been DRIVEN to clean up my house and yard, I hate cleaning, and I will do it as little as I can, but frankly I have been hell-bent on cleaning everything. I can't even explain the feeling, it was like something was literally pushing me to do stuff and I didn't know why.
Now I know.
Everything has been falling into place. Quitting my job, school, cleaning, and even now the timing is perfect because tax returns are here and I will have enough money to get everything Mikie needs that he doesn't have (which practically means EVERYTHING). I know with ALL MY HEART this is the right thing to happen and I know that Mikie is my child, and that he belongs with me and my family.
My friend Maggie said it best "Just because a child isn't born into your family, doesn't mean that child isn't meant to be with you."
I have had "baby fever" for a while now, wanting another child, missing being pregnant and having a baby, but at the same time I know we can't have an infant right now. It's just NOT the best idea for our family. But this feeling wouldn't go away. As soon as I heard what was going on with Mikie, and that there was a chance he could be with us, that feeling went away. I knew that he was going to come home where he belongs.

I hope I have expressed to you what this means to me and my family. I have NEVER felt so sure and certain about anything in my life. Not even when I had Sarah, I knew I she was mine and I was keeping her. But I am even more sure NOW about Mikie. I do not pray, REALLY pray anymore. But I have prayed about this, and I have had the most calming feelings about what is going to happen.
I know God has been setting this up for us, to make it work. Even though it wasn't when I wanted it to happen, I wanted Mikie to come be with us years ago, but it just seemed impossible.
Now it's not.
I know with all my heart God has made this happen for me and my children to be home, safe and loved. Where they ALL belong.

Thanks for reading this, I know it's very different from my usual snippy self. : ) But I had to say what's on my mind.

1 comment:

Katie said...

Congrats Deborah, it sounds like Mikie really needs a loving mother in his life.